Why I haven't been posting.....

Well, my peoples, I'm sorry I haven't posted lately... on either of the blogs, but its just... this past week has been so DULL. I mean, I look back just one week and it seems like it was over in a flash, cause NOTHING eventful happened. I only remember Mr. Rainey's Mr. T keychain from friday, me sitting on the floor (getting a sore butt) cuz Cara stole Brittni's seat who stole my seat, and I really didn't want to move elsewhere. And also I remember listening to the Kittie cd that Skyler let me borrow (i had it for 5 days cuz he wasn't at school on Thurs. or Fri.). Oh, and people (besides Cara, muahahaha) if you have heard of Kittie, I'd like to know, since they are an awesome band, even if they are an all girl hard rock band. Skyler introduced me to them (cuz he's so awesome ^_^) and he has let me borrow 2 of his cds already (both of them Kittie) and.... ^_^ he's awesome... heehee. okay, I need to get myself back together....

Sooooo, what was I saying? Oh yes, my dull week. Cara says it wasn't dull for her at all (well, she HAS been working on that skit thing after school and all that stuff). I really haven't been 'doing anything' for the past few days, probably the whole week *yawn*. Me? I've pretty much been sleeping, eating, going to school, and being on the internet as long as I can remember... (with the exception of watching a rented movie on both Saturday AND Sunday... what did we watch on Saturday again? Oh, yea, Saturday was Taxi and Sunday was A Shark's Tale). School is kinda a highlight in my week, since I get to talk to friends more, experience some... weird things *cough cough* like today.... LOL!!! It was soooo funny, I'm not telling... not even YOU, Cara. Don't even try. hehe.

Good Charlotte. How can I not mention them. I love this pic tons, not just because Billy looks so mysterious ^_^, But also because all the other people look good to. Paul really stands out. Left to right...: Paul Thomas, Benji Madden, Joel Madden, Billy Martin, and Chris Wilson. 

Linkin Park. They are awesome and have also inspired me. Left to right (as usual...): Joesph Hahn, Rob Bourdon, Phoenix, Mike Shinoda, Brad Delson, and Chester Bennington 

Evanescence. Best band ever. Well, in my eyes, anyway. They inspire alot of my work (mainly poems). I want to put up pics of people who inspire me.... names? From left to right (duh): John LeCompt, Rocky Gray, the girl is of course Amy Lee, guy behind her is Terry Balsamo, then behind him with the beanie on is Will Boyd.

Believe

I can’t believe you did this to me
I thought I trusted you!
You got the wrong impression
Now what am I supposed to do?
It’s my fault I told you that
I didn’t think you would worry
As much as you actually did.
Calm down, I’m in no hurry
But I can’t believe you did that
And I don’t think I ever will.
Why? Why is all I ask.
Why did you do this? And thought that?
I guess I’ll never know
My life has been confusing from the beginning
I can’t change what I did, who I am
I only do what I think is fitting.

2/17/05

Not creative

Sorry for not putting any poems up lately. I've been so caught up with my life... I haven't found much time to escape and write poems. I was sick from school yesterday, and I wrote one.... So I'll put up a later when I get the chance.......omg, Cara, Billy is not gross, you guys just have a problem with artistic originality. Amanda, he may look like a girl to you, but that's not what I think. What the truth is to you, can be different, much different, than the truth that I see...... oh, gosh.......... Mr. Wallace gave me a huge philosophical talk. It was very interesting and it has inspired me. I feel life makes more sense now, I can understand my own thoughts better. How you guys can't accept who I am, and want to change what I've become. But I was meant to be like this.... I can't believe you want me to believe something I don't want to and change what I think. If you can't stand me, then don't be my friend anymore, I can't help what I am. You people don't understand individuality. If you do, please comment!!! or object or something..... Why haven't my people been commenting? It's making me sad, and that's why I don't put as much poems up. Want more poems? Then comment more, ppl!!! Okay, I'm better......

.:Human Hatred:.

There will never be peace.
Humans were meant to destroy.
Play around with things
As if they were toys.
Look around the world
And see what we've done.
We make fun of others,
And hurt them with knives and guns.
Discrimination, abuse,
Racism, and words no child should use.
So why do we do this to each other?
Hurt their pride and soul
Why do we hate so much.
Is it somehow our goal?


This poem is dedicated to Cara. We got into a fight earlier today. From something Skyler kinda... accidentally said, and Cara got really mad. You could read her blog and how she realized how people hate others and how they felt (which I was kinda surprised she didn't know how it felt to be made fun of your thoughts, or at least, that's the case for me). And when commenting, I started writing sentences and I realized I could write a poem. So those sentences became the first 2 lines. I use those two lines I lot. I know there will never be peace, because we can't even stand ourselves. Humans were meant to destroy, look around, and you will see what I mean. We haven't even civilized the moon and yet, we have tons of junk in space. Junk we don't clean up, like my brother's room (lol, just made that up. His room is a pigsty!!! You can't even see the floor) I heart you too Cara!

Until The Bitter End

I shall roam this earth,
For no real purpose,
Until the bitter end.
I’ll live with all this pain,
Till my life begins again.
I shall cry tears of blood
When I am finally dead.
But until then, I shall live
Lying alone, crying on my bed.
I shall sleep until I can’t no more
Happy inside my head.
I bet you will be happy, too
When I am finally dead.
I wish to see your bitter end,
Standing right beside you.
Look at you, you can’t breathe
I never really liked you.
Until the bitter end
I shall walk alone.
As the rain splatters on me
And soaks me to the bone.
I shall continue on without others.
I never knew why they didn’t like me.
Was it my face, or how I talked?
I was just being me.
My face emotionless like a stone
A rotten tree was my heart,
My mind on shadows
And what lurked in the dark.
But until the bitter end
I will hate the world as it is
Don’t try to change my mind,
Because I won’t give in.
Until the bitter end…

2/8/05

A Dark Soul

Okay, my blog is called A Dark Soul, I just felt that I didn't really like how my poems and my life were combined, it just didn't seem right to me. Mr. Rainey and his wife have been looking forever for a baby to adopt, and this one seems to be it. The mother seems to be very pretty (according to Mr. Rainey, lol) and nice. Yesterday was the first Ultrasound, and it's a boy, so, yea, Cara couldn't wait to hear what it was, she was talking a ton about it yesterday before and after my power outage (read other blog, I will talk about it later)

New blog

Thanks to Cara, I decided to make a new blog, Daydream will be about poems only, cuz yea, and my new blog will be about my life and stuff. I STILL dont know what it will be called, but it will be put over there with those other links>>>>> so, yea. Cara's not helping me come up with a name for the blog....

Song won't work..... *sigh*

Ok, I know the songs aren't working. I don't like it either, cuz there are some good songs, and some i haven't listened that I really want to hear. Now, none of the songs are working, and none will probably work for a while or never. But I don't really want to put midi's on here. Just midis. But there are some good midi sites that I have found. Still.... it doesn't beat real songs with the lyrics and all.... I'll find a good one for you people.... OH!! I know!! let me find it.... (lol, I have a word document(s) that have tons of codes in them, some from quizilla, and some are backgrounds and music, lol.... *sweatdrop*)

So Cold

I’m so cold,
And you’re so warm
Hold me tight,
And I’ll no longer mourn.
Why is the wind so cold?
During a nice fall day.
Why is the rain so warm?
On a nice summer’s day.
I guess it’s true
What they say about me
So cold blooded
Is what they see in me.
Cold heart, and a sick mind
Is the only thing
That they can find.
No friends of mine
Have ever gotten so close
As you.
I feel I can share all my secrets
With only you.
I’m not so cold,
Am I?
But now I’m dying
The light is leaving my eyes
Penetrated by darkness
I still feel you hold me.
In my mind, I smile
Knowing that someone had found me
The true me that no one can see.
I feel I’m floating away.
But no!!
I want to hold on
I’ve finally found the meaning of life,
And I want another chance.
I want to live life
Knowing what it means.
A happier, brighter part of it
I will see.
Instead of the death, blood
And darkness that I have seen.
I try to grab on to my hope,
My lover who is holding me so.
I can’t feel it,
Oh no I can’t!
I can’t feel my fingers curl
Or touch any material.
I fear it’s too late
Much to late
For something in that life.
What will happen now?
My skin is so cold,
Though my heart is not.
In a new life,
If that’s what is to come,
I won’t let people think
My heart is so cold

2/1/05

Call My Name

Call my name, no one will answer
I’m too far away, lost in my thoughts.
Look at me, I’m a disaster
I cannot find what I have sought.
All these years,
I’ve been looking for nothing.
It’s something I’ve always feared
So I lay here, alone, suffering.
I’ve been trying to catch the wind
With nothing but my own hands.
So what now is there left to find?
In this ocean, there’s no sight of land.
How many years has it been?
Since that day that changed my life.
This river of my life has no bend
And my heart has never soared like a kite.
It seems my life is going downhill.
It gets worse, and never better.
I think it’s time to write my will,
And hope someone finds this letter.

1/31/05